{"product_id":"twinkol-wow-retail-t-shirt","title":"Twinkol - \"For Retail Players Only\" Graphic Tee","description":"\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 600; font-size: 18px;\"\u003e⌨️  THE \"NOOB SLAYER 9000\" ELITE PRO-TACTICAL GAMING TEE ⌨️ \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 600; font-size: 18px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eBecause why let your family know you love them when you can let your lobby know you hate them?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eAre you tired of people looking at you in public and thinking, \u003cem\u003e\"Wow, that person probably has a healthy sleep schedule and a balanced diet\"\u003c\/em\u003e? Say no more.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eStep up your casual wardrobe with a shirt that screams \u003cstrong\u003e\"I haven't seen natural sunlight since the last major DLC dropped.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e Designed specifically for the digital warrior who considers a 20-minute shower to be a massive waste of XP, this t-shirt is guaranteed to keep casuals at a safe 6-foot distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 700; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e⚔️ HARDCORE VISUAL FEAST\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 700; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnreadable Font Overload:\u003c\/strong\u003e Features a hyper-aggressive, metallic, blood-dripping gothic font that takes at least three solid minutes to decode.\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe \"Cringe-Core\" Slogan:\u003c\/strong\u003e Proudly features a completely unironic, terrifyingly intense motto across the chest like: \u003cstrong\u003e\"I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I’M IN THE ZONE (AND MY MOM IS CRYING IN THE HALLWAY)\"\u003c\/strong\u003e or \u003cstrong\u003e\"BORN TO GAME \/ FORCED TO COMPLY WITH BASIC HYGIENE.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 700; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🛠️ PRO-GAMER FEATURES (TACTICAL SPECIFICATIONS)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 700; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eEnergy Drink Shield:\u003c\/strong\u003e Coated in a special hydrophobic layer designed to repel accidental splashes of neon-green energy drinks and the tears of vanquished 12-year-olds.\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAggressive Ventilation:\u003c\/strong\u003e Formulated with \"Salt-Wicking Technology\" to handle the extreme perspiration that comes with losing a rank-up match due to \"lag.\"\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 700; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e⚠️ WARNING \u0026amp; CARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 700; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDo Not Wash:\u003c\/strong\u003e Washing this garment risks removing the hard-earned patina of midnight snacks and tactical grease.\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDo Not Wear Near Significant Others:\u003c\/strong\u003e (Don't worry, this constraint usually takes care of itself).\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSide Effects Include:\u003c\/strong\u003e An uncontrollable urge to blame your teammates for everything wrong in your life, localized desk-slamming, and an innate hatred for the word \"outside.\"\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSizes available:\u003c\/strong\u003e M to XXXL (Tailored with extra room for maximum gaming-chair comfort).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrice:\u003c\/strong\u003e $20.20 (Or 286,246 un-refundable in-game gold coins).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun cotton (lightweight 153 g\/m²) for a soft, breathable feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tubular knit (no side seams) for a clean drape and reduced fabric waste\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Ribbed, elastic collar with shoulder tape to maintain shape and prevent stretching\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Pearlized tear-away label for comfortable wear and DTF\/DTG printed graphics\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified; meets safety and EU compliance standards\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not 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